It's a sad, sad day

Me: "Prez, your oatmeal is ready."

Prez: "I have to go to the bathroom."

Me: "You better hurry or else it's going to get cold."

Prez: "Can't you just leave it on the stove until I'm ready?"

Me: "Yes, but it won't stay warm forever."

Prez: "Why not?"

Me: "It just doesn't. That's why."

Prez: "Let me guess. It needs batteries."